


Meditation

by Vault_Emblem



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Inner Dialogue, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-04 18:18:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18349100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vault_Emblem/pseuds/Vault_Emblem
Summary: After the events of DMC5, Vergil needs to come to terms with himself.





	Meditation

**Author's Note:**

> [ Here's my links page so that, if you want, you can support me on other platforms as well! ](https://bi-naesala.tumblr.com/links)

Lately Vergil has been meditating. Yes, meditating.

 

Since he fused back in one piece – he hasn’t figured out yet how he feels about that whole deal – he’s felt… weird, disconnected, and he figured that he should focus on trying to put all the pieces back together. Can it even be possible, repairing something that has been broken so long ago? For once he finds himself devoid of an answer, but his brother has deemed him worthy enough to be dragged out of hell and his son… god, his son, where does he even begin with that?

He’s trying to act maturely, to own up his mistakes, to try and repair what damage he has caused, but he knows that he won’t be able to do any of that if he remains in this state.

 

It’s a balancing act, what he’s trying to do.

Human and demon, separated and yet united.

Now Vergil knows that keeping them apart only brings destruction.

 

He could ask his brother how he does this, how can he manage, but he never does.

He still has pride after all, and it’s not only the pride of the demon what keeps him from asking: it’s the pride of the man as well.

 

It has taken him a while to acknowledge his human soul, and something inside of him stirs at that thought, a familiar presence that almost scoffs at how little attention he’s been given for all these years, but now Vergil knows better.

Even that part of himself can be strong, even that part of himself can get up after being bent, beaten, broken, and that’s where he started in order to putting all the pieces together in fact.

 

He knows he needs to be kept on check. He knows that there’s a whole other half of him, a darker half, a more dangerous half.

He feels how it tempts him – the same way it’s always tempted him – but this time he’s trying to resist its charm.

 

That is clearly not the right way.

He tried that approach, to become a full demon, but it hadn’t taken him anywhere. The last big events should be enough for him to understand that.

 

Sometimes he can still hear the voice of the two entities that have been him for a while.

They’re still inside of him. He can feel them.

There are times in which he almost feels like he’s being controlled by one of them, but he has realized that that feels more like an excuse to justify something he did. Of course they’re influencing his actions: they’re him.

 

And yet… sometimes he gets the impression that there might be something more in them than he thinks.

They’re him and yet they’re not.

They’re parts of him, parts that have lived separately for a while, made experiences on their own.

Maybe this is why he can feel them so clearly.

As of late, however, he hears mostly only one voice.

The other is merely a whisper, hissing at his ear whenever Dante barges in the same room he’s in, or when he’s slicing demons left and right, getting high on that feeling of absolute power he holds over them, but it all dies down quickly when he reminds himself why he’s there and thanks to who.

 

Sometimes he finds himself missing his solitude, but as one side of him knows very well, he never actually wanted that in his life.

What was it? Wanting to be protected and loved, right?

 

Maybe now something like that will be possible.

Slowly but surely… he might be getting there.

 

Ironically, this way he’s never really alone, isn’t he? Even when technically he is.

 

… Being alive again scares him. He can’t deny that.

 

How can he know something bad won’t happen?

How can he know tragedy won’t strike?

If he gets too relaxed, he might lose everything again.

He needs to keep his guard up, he needs to be vigilant, he needs to be wary.

 

But that’s not the real problem, isn’t it?

 

Will he be able to maintain all this?

Will he be able not to let the people that are so important to him slip away?

Will he be able not to make any more mistakes?

 

\- Mistakes are human, just as _you_ are -.

 

He recognizes that voice, so different from his and yet so similar under certain aspects.

Of course he would’ve barged in as soon as he got the chance, just to remind him of the nature of his being, even almost out of spite.

He’s right though: mistakes are human and he won’t stop making them.

 

\- But you _want_ this to work. When you’ll make a mistake you’ll apologize and keep trying -.

 

How does he know? What makes him so sure of this?

How can he know what he wants when Vergil himself still has to sort this through?

 

\- Because I’ve seen it. Because I’m _you_ -.

 

And despite that, Vergil can almost feel a body beside him, even if when he glances there’s nobody there, but he can still feel it.

He wonders if they would’ve preferred if the other one stayed around. He was so much better than him and definitely more easy to handle; he knew more about this kind of stuff than him, and isn’t it infuriating? They are the same after all.

 

Two arms are hugging him. They aren’t there but he feels their warmth nonetheless.

\- I know you can do it -.

 

Those words… they’re so encouraging, and they shake something deep inside of Vergil.

He smiles then, shaking his head at himself, still feeling those arms around him.

 

… All right.

Who knows, maybe the voice inside his head is right; maybe he’ll succeed.

He’ll do his best and, in case he fails, he will try again.

That’s the least he could do, after all.

He owes it to the people who saved him.

**Author's Note:**

> Would you believe it if I said that this was born as a V/Vergil/Urizen pwp? Cause that's how this fic was born at first.  
> I just wanted to give it a little bit of context but then I figured that it was getting too introspective and I didn't want to "waste" it by presenting it as porn.  
> If this bums you out don't worry though, porn will come, I just need time to write it.  
> Also these two things are probably going to be the only things I write in which I follow canon in regards to V cause yeah I still find it a waste what they did with his character.


End file.
